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Today's male siblings—brothers, they're called—are tomorrow's uncles. But Americans are having ever-smaller families. Most couples aspire to have one child, maybe two. So the uncle—that non-authority figure, that often drunk, childish, pseudo adult—is going extinct. Growing up I had a dozen uncles by blood and marriage. My kid only has three uncles.

I went to shift the angle of my hips at the exact moment he broke rhythm and give me a surprise, extra hard and fast thrust. This completely destroyed my perineum. I lived with my grandma at the time, and I couldn't get the tear to stop bleeding. We were freaking out, so I went into the living room, holding the bloody towel over my crotch, and asked grandma what to do. She was more concerned that I had stained one of the good hands towels. It also triggered a chain reaction, and they both spent the rest of the night in the bathroom. His dick was almost 9 inches and thick.

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